Postpartum Self-Care Tips for the Busy Mama's Mind, Body and Soul
For my first pregnancy, my husband and I did everything by the book. We took natural birthing classes and laid out our birthing plan. We were prepared to give birth the natural and normal way. But my son had other plans, he wanted to come out a little sooner than expected and an emergency C-section had to take place. I was not prepared for the recovery process that came with it after. The pain was nothing like I had read about, seen depicted in movies, nor discussed in birthing class. Add that to the pressures of navigating motherhood for the first time.
When my eldest was a newborn, I still remember how even the simple act of taking a shower felt like such a luxury. It's one of those things we take for granted prior to motherhood that we just don't realize how precious it is until we happily and willingly choose to be with our little one instead, sometimes to the point of forgetting ourselves.
For my youngest, knowing that this would be a planned caesarean delivery, I already knew what to expect. And I was already more aware of need to balance things out with taking care of myself while making time for all my other responsibilities as a wife and mother. I made the conscious decision to find time for self-care. I approached it deliberately and made it a point to handle things better this time around.
For me, self-care is not just skin deep. It's is about taking care of your total being, your mind, body and soul. Each aspect affects the other, and contributes to a blissful life. When you're at your best-self, your cup is full, and you can give your best to the people who need you the most.
The Mind
During maternity leave, most of the time, it's just you and the baby. If you're normally used to speaking to other adults the vocabulary you end up using suddenly becomes very limited.
With the best intentions for our child in mind, we try to gain as much knowledge on parenting as possible. It's also likely that the only reading materials we consume have everything to do with our babies and nothing to do with any of our personal interests. At least that's what happened to me before.
To balance these out and to add variety to my day, while still maximizing the precious time with my baby, here are some of the activities I made time for to nourish my mind:
1. Read a book
My favorite author, even before I became a mom, is Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I got back to reading his books that I had not yet completed. I also made a realistic commitment of reading just 2 pages a day. That's far less than I would normally read, but it was the most doable thing I could do. That way I felt less pressured. Anything more than 2 pages was a bonus.
2. Listen to a podcast
There were times when I needed both my hands, like when organizing things or putting away laundry. I could still learn a thing or two over Spotify. One of my favorite podcasts is French Kiss Life by Tonya Leigh. Her soothing voice and timeless wisdom make for an easy and relaxing listen while I do mundane things. Normally, I don't recommend listening to a podcast when your full concentration and presence are required.
3. Learn a new language
Photo by Matthew Henry from Burst
I've been trying to learn Spanish on and off with in-person classes and self-study books in the past. However, consistency was my biggest battle. I'm so grateful for the Duolingo app because it's pretty extensive and its gamification experience allows me to commit to it consistently. It's now part of my daily routine.
The Body
Giving birth is one of the most transformational things our bodies go through. We get stretched out, our muscles get painful, we get stitched up, so many things happen to us from head to toe. That's why it's essential for us to be kind to our bodies and to make sure we allow ourselves to heal fully. Here are some easy tips to support that healing process:
1. Take care of your skin
Your future self will thank you for maintaining your skin with a a really simple and sustainable skincare routine. Groovy Glow founder, Ruby, recommends this basic skincare routine for busy mamas: cleanse and apply a moisturizer with SPF in the morning. In the evening, cleanse, tone and apply a serum. Once or twice a week, use an exfoliating facial mask (that can even be applied to other rough patches on the body).
2. Apply anti-stretchmark cream
They say stretchmarks are forever, but the appearance can be managed. Continue this habit until such time the redness is gone. Talk to your dermatologist for more in depth advice. I found it helpful to do this -- expectations managed accordingly.
3. Drink green tea to increase metabolism
Photo by gao juntao from Burst
You can hit two birds with one stone when you take green tea. Get the extra energy boost while increasing your metabolism allowing you to burn an extra 70-100 calories. Just be sure to remember (especially if you're breastfeeding) that this already counts as your 1 serving of caffeine for the day. So avoid taking this + coffee. Take your pick and enjoy.
The Soul
Matrescence describes the transition women go through when we become mothers. Much like adolescence is a normal but not-so-easy to navigate stage in a person's life, we end up going through so many physical, hormonal, mental and emotional changes.
I remember not particularly identifying with the symptoms of postpartum depression nor did I feel perfectly blissful all the time. I remember a roller coaster of emotions. These 3 things helped me feel grounded, and allowed me to feel like everything was going to be okay even when it didn't always feel that way.
1. Pray
My prayers used to be one-sided. I would list down all my requests, grievances (and gratitudes) and that was that. I didn’t take time to ask the right questions so I could actually be given the solutions. When I started to turn it into a 2-way conversation wherein I actually ask God what I should do and give space to listen, the solutions always come to mind, even for the seemingly little things. This helped shift my perspective from one of victimhood to empowerment. And that in itself is freeing.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It takes practice, discipline, and above all, faith. Over time, things get clearer and the solutions present themselves when we keep asking the right questions.
2. Meditate
Photo by Sarah Pflug from Burst
I also used to think it’s ridiculous, and I don’t need it if I pray. However, when I gave it a chance and got over my negative apprehensions, I started to feel the difference in how it calms and centers me throughout my day. When the rest of our day is dedicated to other people, this brief moment can make a world of a difference.
It takes a lot of focus not to get lost in my thoughts of all the things I need to do, but it’s taught me to remain present. That way I feel like I have more to give and am prepared to face the chaos, because I've given myself the opportunity to be quiet for just a little while.
If you're just starting out, check out this a quick overview on how to meditate.
3. Keep a gratitude journal
Gratitude fills the soul. We can't help but feel happy when we are grateful. Sometimes it's so easy to just notice the negative things especially when we get overwhelmed with all the demands of motherhood and beyond. Even before this happens, I try to make sure my happiness cup is full by counting my blessings. The more we appreciate, the more we magnify the positive feelings.
Becoming a mom was the biggest life change I had to go through. Change isn't always easy, but I hope these self-care tips for the mind, body and soul will somehow make it easier for you. Let me know in the comments below if any of them worked for you. Feel free to share any self-care tips of your own as well that helped you with your transition into motherhood.
Here's to having a blissful matrescence, Super Mama!